.

she doesnt give in anymore. change? she thought so. not to me it is. she'll never change. she says she will take dat pic, she did not. she says she'll do ANYTHING to make sure i'm safe. she does nothing. her ego is everest high. "i'm never going to give in to anything" is the attitude she adopts permanently now. i have to give in to everything. u know what? i'll stop giving in from today. if she tinks i'm worth the wait for marriage cos she's "saving" it till then, then she'll have to show that she means it. how could you shout at me and even attempted to walk away?! what right do u have? i dont have rights over you. so what makes u tink u have any rights over me? u dont like me being in control of wad u do right? so dun control me. its only fair. u wanted that for a very long time right? fine! i give in again. u have ur freedom and ur rights to yourself. i wont say anythin anymore. n dun say u love me when u dun cos i dont see it. yes u do show me a certain level of affection. but i am guessing that they are just short-lived moments so that i would shut up from all the "nagging" of which u have never adhered to. probably these "repetitive reminders" otherwise known as "nagging" to you are of some good cos without my nagging, NOTHING will even change. ur obliviousness is getting the best out of you. u dont even noe how to make me happy now. u dont noe how to see if i'm sad and do somethin about it. instead, u will keep repeating ur constant "unsatisfying" comments like "what is wrong with making friends? ok i stopped. memang tak perlu buat kawan2 dgan laki2 ni smue. tapi apa salahnya seh?" she forgot she got to noe me from friendster. hinted enough? she wont understand anythin i say. its just another nag. i noe. i went missing from everyone yesterday and she got especially worried about me. or so it seems. but when i went the extra mile to come home to get my phone back and received all those messages from her, i went a futher mile by attempting to borrow my cousin's car and fetch her from work. what happens next? she din even seem relieved or excited. she just seemed neutral. like nothin has happened. what is this? Dear God almighty, open her eyes and wake her up. she's been sleep walking for far too long and she's hurting me badly, deeply.

Someone, something, please take me far away from all this misery. otherwise, someone, something, wake her up. sigh.