vanquish the weak.

i just realized how stupid i was when i sent that message to that asshole, Sobri. i sounded so much like a pussy. now i think i've made a grave mistake. i made him look down on me cos i sounded like such a wimp/pussy/wuss whatever u may like to address it. i should have just fucked him straight up in that message no matter how or what the outcome would be like. god damn it. regretting every single piece of it now.

and somehow that 3 hour chat with Emma made me feel so much more like a man. she is in ur shoes dear. she does it to hype. and from her view, its not that asshole's fault entirely. its more likely yours. cos emma said that you were actually "lacking attention" from me so u sought to him for attention and crazed for it silly till such things happened. i'm not gonna drag this anymore. i got my pride back.

i said u were one in a million.

emma's reply?

"one in a million wont cheat. a million in one does."

whatever...

and she says its very hard for her to change and it goes along with u. why u ask? cos the love is not there. its more like "forced" love now. more of "tak nak break my heart cos kesian" kinda thing. you should noe that whatever u did, did not make me stray away. it just made me love you more. before it builds to an even greater level, if whatever i'm saying is true, and ur just in it to not break me, i suggest u do it. confess to me. whatever in ur head right now, please gimme a clue.

this is my last entry about our "big problem".

Happy 49th Anniversary my dear.
I love you.
Too much.