My Last Wish.

I dont think i've done anything wrong, i'm in such wonder.
Why i'm still hanging on, being left to ponder.
About why i'm still here caring for her.
When she's not keen to share all her sad hours.

I'm her partner, or so she acknowledge.
But still i wonder why she causes so much damage.
To this heart that requires sincere loving.
She know's it too well but she's not keen on giving.

She wants to give up cos she thinks she cant do it.
Though after these few days, she has been so sweet.

Her stress is getting the best out of her but i dun understand.
Each time i try to dig it out, she just pretends.
That nothing is bottled inside, she's fine she said.
I'm getting too curious, its pounding in my head.

I'm worried for you honey, i'm really dumbfounded.
What is it that's disturbing you, i'm so disheartened.
To know that you wont share knowing that i'm always here.
Your secrets are always safe with me, when did i let anyone hear?

Or is it just because you dont trust me anymore.
After that stupid thing i did, you got sick to the core.
To know that i was foolish, dumb and cant score.
And now you cant help it, you find me a bore.

I'm so uncertain honey, what is it that you want?
I'm so lost without you, i dont understand why you cant,
Tell me what is it you're keeping from me.
Is it something that will change our destiny?

Give me a clue at least so i would know.
I dont want to be kept in the dark, please let it show.
Cos i love you so much and i care for you baby.
I dont want you to be hurt indefinitely.

Give it a try, i'm always here for you and you know it.
Please, i'm begging you, i'm feeling like shit.
How was i to care if you wont share?
Only thing you told me is you're depressed and in despair.

I'm worried for your well-being, you changed alot.
Just tell me your problems dear, give it a shot.
Since when was i absent when you needed me?
Each time you're in trouble, my presence you'll see.

So what is it now that you're holding back?
You have lost your feelings for me? is it that?
I sacrificed everything for you, cant you still see it?
I really cant tolerate anymore of this heat.

I know you're irritated by my constant pestering.
You even said that i'm forcing you into telling things.
You have never hung up on me but now you always do.
Do you think i like the feeling of getting hung up by you?

The one who is really stressed out now is noone but me.
Left lost in the dark with so much misery.
But i wont leave you like i did before, you mean too much to me.
Even though you changed and you dont treat me like how it used to be.

I dont mind all the stabbing you're shoving at my heart.
I'm emotionally drained, too soft to touch.
And it will stay the same or it'll get worse.
Cos the silence brought to me looks more like a curse.

Bestow your attention to what is happening here.
We really need TRUST, in your heart, that's unclear.
And i see it so well, you dont trust me anymore.
You might not even see what i'm being used here for.

I dont expect you to force yourself to tell me what's happening.
I just want you to appreciate everything i'm giving.
And if i'm making you more irritated with this i'm saying.
I'm sorry, but i just had to exert what i mean.

Please trust me dear, i've never disappointed your faith ever.
It shouldn't have been this way, never.
Trust me with your heart, trust me with your soul.
Please allow for the truth to be told.

Your secrets will never be sold.
Even to my closest friends i've never been that bold.
To disclose our matter, how small the issue.
I dont expect anyone to hand me a tissue.

I just need you to need me, its all i ask.
My eyes are filled with tears, enough for a flask.
And if you still wont disclose the matter, i wont ask further.
I'll just take all the beatings quietly and suffer.

You will probably enjoy it as much as others would.
Cos you will see how incompetent i have stood.
There are so many better guys out there waiting for us to stumble.
So they could shoot my head straight down with a rifle.

I know i'm in a losing battle but i dont care.
As long as you're happy, i'll always share.
My happiness belongs to you, you know that dont you?
If you're stressed like you said, i'll feel the blue.

Please let me rest my tortured soul once and for all.
At least do it for me, cos i just feel so small.
I feel dead as of now, i'm so restless and helpless.
I'm letting earth be my friend and god as my witness.

I'm really lost of words to say, i've said enough.
This time we're going through is really really rough.
But what ever it is, i want to let you noe that its true.
That i meant it, each time i professed, I Love You.

Sigh.

Love knows no boundaries and is really blind. I'm blinded both emotionally and physically. Dont even talk about boundaries. I'm just bounded by my blindness.

I'm blind. Not deaf.
Till the day someone shows me the way, I'll just keep listening.