today..

i really appreciated today's talk with her. after some settling down, we got down to our issue. and after giving it a thought, this is what i have finally discovered. well, we are still deeply in love with each other. the toughness of this is just that she's very busy with school and family while i'm busy with my cso and work. we hardly have time for each other.

besides that, she finds it tough to find time for us cos all the things pulling her back from doing so are of much more relevant importance. so she is not ignoring me or neglecting me. its just that she has other responsibilities and wants to do. and she is always drawing back from doing things with me cos i keep making her feel so insecure. its as though as i'm always threatening to leave her.

on my side, i'm just too demanding and pushy. i dont trust her as much as i do before. plus i always have negative thoughts about things that are going to happen to this beautiful relationship. it pushes me further to "threaten" her that i'm leaving her thus making her feel more insecure.

now i understand dear. our meet today was so worthwhile. i think somehow God pitied us and saw how much we want each other and allowed us to meet so we could see what is really the problem. so, there is actually no problem with us.

i will stop being too demanding ok dear? plus i will not say things or do things that will cause you to feel insecure anymore ok sayang? i promise. neither will i have negative thoughts about you anymore. i will trust you to the fullest. you just have to trust me now cos its so hard to work on this without trust that has been built and achieved for four years. and on your side, try to squeeze in some time at least for me? an hour or so like what we had today will do. better still, reserve your sundays for us. we could spend a whole lot of precious time together.

we have built an empire dear. there are so many jealous people out there who envies our relationship and wants to break us up. you can see it for yourself. lets prove them wrong and show them that we are meant for each other k? lets show them what our love is really made of. it would really be romantic and nice to know that we have risen from the ashes and back strong again even after bearing children and all in the near future. i would really love to see it happen. imagine when we are there and we reflect back to what we have gone through all this while. how nice right? dont you feel the same way too? i know you do.

from now on, we shall not think about leaving each other. we shall just concentrate on building back the fallen towers of our broken empire. our empire has stood strong against strong winds and other hazards dear. lets just put back the bricks slowly and paint it back to its orginal colour to sustain its beauty ok? i love you dear.. so so much its undescribable to put in words. only the depth of my eyes and heart intertwined with my kisses for you can give you just a rough idea of how much it is. i can feel it in you too.

we just have a certain connection with each other. too strong that its really tough for both parties to let go. u made me melt in your arms just now when you said that you kept thinking of letting this go but there is just this certain "something" that pulls you back from allowing it to come over you. Awwww..

i love you sayang.

We'll be married in no time. I'll pray that the time will come quickly cos something tells me that it definitely will come. only time could tell when.

Nothing's gonna break us up. Period.

This bond we share is stronger than anything.
Together we'll build something more beautiful than the Taj Mahal.

I'm sorry for causing you all the sorrows and grievious hurt. they were not supposed to happen in the first place now that i understand the situation we're both in. Forgive me darling. I swear not to be foolish again. Forgive me.

You will never lose me again. This i promise you.